It is crucial to acknowledge that our incapacity to adjust to a shift in expectations that may arise in our day-to-day lives is what sets off a stress reaction of any type and, thus, produces sorrow. We are creatures of habit, and our brains are always seeking certainty; as a result, we naturally begin to form expectations about how things will be and play out in our lives.
The truth is that expectations aren’t always correct. How often have you heard someone else or yourself say something like, “Well, I didn’t see that coming,” or “It hit me like a bus and just came out of nowhere?”
In general, all change is a change of expectation, and ultimately, changes in expectation are the ultimate stressor. Stress must be regarded as a reaction to a change in expectation, rather than something caused by the world.
When we are presented with a change in expectation, we may have sufficient adaptation ability to meet that demand easily and interactively, resulting in some level of satisfaction, or the demand is either too great and our adaptation ability is too low at the time that we are unable to interact with the change, and we end up reacting to it.
Life unfolds, and often, shifts in desires occur beyond our immediate control. It’s not as simple as deciding to respond adaptively rather than reactively in the moment. It’s about being in a state of calm and peace where we can perceive and embrace change, adjusting our expectations swiftly without succumbing to panic.
The post-COVID-19 world has brought about fundamental changes unlike anything we’ve experienced in most Western countries during our lifetimes. Consequently, we’re encountering a cascade of stress responses as our lives undergo increasing upheaval. Over time, our bodies accumulate stress triggers, essentially becoming repositories of reactivity, primed to react defensively to perceived threats, resulting in almost constant, low-level stress reactions throughout the day.
We must enhance our capacity for adaptation, enabling us to react less impulsively and respond thoughtfully to life’s challenges. While the pressures of modern life persist, gradually reducing our stress reactions can lighten the burden. Instead of carrying an overwhelming load of stress reactions, we can aim for a less burdensome load, allowing us to approach unexpected changes with composure, consider them calmly, and make higher-quality decisions that minimize stress not only in the moment but also in the long term.
When I’m feeling on edge and close to losing my composure, one of my go-to methods for managing stress is to scream. I’ll hop in the car, crank up the music, and let it all out. Interestingly, ancient Chinese wisdom suggests that loud yelling can actually be beneficial for health! So, if letting out a hearty shout can boost your ability to adapt, why not try it?